I called LG and the courteous man on the line explained that to fast-forward all I need to do is:
1. Press the tiny button under the number nine, which brings up a soft menu on the screen.
2. Carefully navigate to the fast-forward icon with the arrow keys or red mouse indicator.
3. Click on the fast-forward icon
4. When you want to resume playing, just navigate to the Play icon,
5. Click on the Play icon.
6. Press the tiny button under the 9 again to close the menu.
7. Wait for the other menu that somehow appeared to time out and go away.
And Bob's your uncle.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?